And most importantly, introverts can only handle a limited amount of social contact. Reddit, Inc. 2023. 423-267-5383, By engaging with our content or purchasing resources, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy | 2023 First Things First. You need to challenge your comfort zone by forcing yourself into more uncomfortable positions. New York, NY: W. W. Norton. Most chose two traits, and the majority wanted to lower their Neuroticism and increase their Extraversion. Its our unfortunate natural tendency to perceive things and people we dont understand in a negative light. And here's the final irony: What's now well within your comfort zone may not really portray who you are. Your brain sees only two options: either everyone likes me, or no one does. I dont like my personality. But youre also aware that this sort of thing can go sideways and, worst-case scenario, you could lose a friend over it. Your ideal self is your unadapted self: 9 key attributes. I have five out of the six personality traits mentioned. Someone to go places with, etc but not the love that many married couples feel for each other. I was always confused as to why i could not relate to them now your article on this site has helped to know i am not alone out there and i Thank you! It has taken probably half my life to figure this out. I dont consider my husband a friend or somebody I can rely on for the long haul. Sadly, this is what it often comes down to in the short term. Before You Tell a Friend You Don't Like Her Boyfriend, You - Verily Just because you don't sound perfect on paper doesn't mean that you won't turn out to be a . I dont like my personality but Im working on it. Feeling like one doesn't have a personality or that underneath there's just a blank sheet of bland is, not good. Maybe thats just what their face looks like. Maybe someone straight-up told you that nobody likes youmaybe one of your parents. Scan this QR code to download the app now. It's important to focus on the positive, even if you don't like your partner's friends. 1. The process of challenging your thoughts can be difficult, especially in the beginning. This person might be vocal about their views on sex, faithfulness, integrity, and theyre encouraging your friend to move outside their boundaries and character. America doesnt appreciate #2 through #6 when you look at how business leaders have defunded education, debase critical thinking skills, going after honest people, and whistleblowers who have integrity, plus America has a long, long, culture of being anti-intellectualism. One of the best tips you ever get for how to change your personality for the better, is to develop your good qualities even more. Your defenses can make you MORE vulnerable. I tick at least 3 of types on your list. 1. Try to find one thing that you do like or appreciate about them. Here are some common reasons you may start disliking or hating your friends and what you can do about it. Some people probably dont like you. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Why do I like someone who is not my type? - Quora var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); July 13, 2021 What do you do when you don't like your friend's friend? I dont want to live, but I dont want to die. There is a several things in this article that I can relate to. I would like to have one true friend because I have telling my daughter that Im the friend nobody likes. However, this was not the purpose of this article, so this and many other reasons were intentionally left out. of California, Berkeley), in his groundbreaking study "Born to Be Good" (2009), cites much research supporting the notion that prosocial behaviorssuch as gratitude, love, compassion, awe, and playare actually innate. How to Talk toand TameYour Outdated Defenses. These feelings are real, and they run deep. It does not represent its results as an exhaustive list of all services available to a given individual for a given mental health concern, as an endorsement of specific treatments or services, or as a replacement for treatment or services as performed by a qualified provider. You shouldn't radically change yourself to conform to one friends ideas or another. Paul Brian 9 Explanations, 1984 Quotes about Control That Are Scarily Relatable to Our Society, 10 Signs of Negative Energy in a Person to Pay Attention to, By continuing, you accept our privacy policy. Curiosity Is Invaluable: Can We Lose It as We Age? I enjoyed conversation, and never felt awkward or uncomfortable in them. Last Updated July 7, 2023, 12:09 pm. Its when a highly intelligent person feels alone because they struggle to find someone of a similar intellectual level to discuss their ideas with. To safeguard your relationship with others, might you"prudently"have constrained yourself in so many ways that your enthusiasm or passion for life has become significantly dulled? There are lots of reasons why you might believe that nobody likes you: If you can identify where this thought is coming from, you can see it for what it is. When you feel lonely and rejected all the time, those emotions start to shape your beliefs about yourself. You have to know that youre doing what good friends do. He or she may be in a bad relationship, divorcing, or divorced, and they are poisoning your friends relationship or view of marriage. Roselle Umlas However, it's true that people tend to underestimate the good qualities of introverts. This favorable portrayal of our inborn nature may seem idealized. You know when someone means what they say and when its just fake nicety. Of course, accepting that not everyone will like you all the time is easier said than done. Nonetheless, it's vital to recognize that, as the saying goes, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained.". So instead of trying to get social acceptance, put effort into these two things: I like people who dont need everyone to like them. Im that guy who reaches for a snack instead of spending 15 minutes cooking a meal. Simple. Ultimately, we all want to like ourselves and be liked by others. Hating yourself and your personality puts you in a horrible loop. If you have a lot of negative beliefs and emotions, consider seeing a therapisttheyre professionally trained to help you with this stuff! We are all our own prisoners and prison guards. But, all the points raised in this article do apply to me. Nor do you have to trim yourself down to fit a social or life role thats been pre-prepped for you by society, your family, or your culture. In being more candid and self-disclosing, others will likely feel that they have permission to be more open and vulnerable with you as well. But why dont people like them in the first place? The Ten-Item Personality Inventory is a fast measure of the Big Five. Hi, Ive read ur article and I felt like someone read my mind.Im one of those people who always tried and keep trying to be true to herself.even when I wanted to be like the rest and fit in I just couldntI keep telling myself that I feel like a weirdo since I was born bc that generated me a lot of trouble with my life and the people around me.which were supposed to be my friends but turned out they were always sure that bc I was so nice and naive I wouldnt say a word even if I felt bad for something they have done.and now its been like 3 years thats just my bf and me.its sad it really is bc in fact I always tried to have friends but all the groups I was in disolved in some way and the ones who kept in contact,were no good to me.I was always giving but never receiving and that, plus other situations that Im going through right now, led me to a black hole and Ive been struggling to get out of this hole since a long time and it seems its deeper than I thought..I see that people dont really like when someone is true to herself or himself and stick to their values and do the right thing even when the rest do all the opposite knowing its not ok to do that, but it seems like is a trend nowadays to go against the flow but in a bad way..not giving a shit about how the other person feels.its really hard to understand why people are like that.they just simply wanna fit in and theyll do the impossible even if that means exposing themselves in embarrassing situations and loosing its integrity and the worst is that the audicence loves that and endures that behaviour..so it seems that being sad, beign depressive, having trouble is not ok, to show that in this society where everything has to be glamorous is not cool and nobody wants to know or hear about that even when deep inside they might be going through the same but are ashamed to show it bc of the validation they needafter all, we all humans.but it seems that some of us arent. But Im here to tell you this: if people dont like you, its not always a bad thing. If you are an introvert, be sure that the right people will like and appreciate you. You always have a choice.. In short, ready to affirm who we are. Nobodys social skills are perfect, so theres always room for improvement. In fact, there may be some reasons behind it that reveal powerful qualities of your personality. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Maybe you've been rejected, and it hurt. So far this guide has focused a lot on the negative behaviors you can avoid or overcome. Psychologists use the term social contagion to describe how individuals or groups influence us. Here is another quote that demonstrates the reason why intelligent people face social rejection: Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. MHA Screening is an educational program intended to help inform people about options they have in getting help for mental health issues. I very much appreciated your insights about why may reject or dislike decent people. Life gives us all sorts of opportunities to give up on ourselves. It may suggest tools and resources that offer information, treatment services, self-help (or DIY) tools, and/or ways to connect with others. Strong people also tend to hide their emotions as they often regard them as a weakness. They may not appreciate you telling them uncomfortable things or just the fact that you refuse to play the nicety game we all unwillingly participate in. As I asserted in a previous post: We all start out open-hearted, trusting, and spontaneous; sensitive, creative, and adventurous; playful, sensuous, free-spirited, and loving. At a early age growing up in a large family we were all raised with out any morals or values it wasnt until my 30s that i searched and found that i was of different moral character then my parents and siblings and very strong willed is not a winning trait among them or my friends from my childhood. Required fields are marked *. However, if people dont like you because of your introversion, you should never forget that there is nothing wrong with you. Learning Mind does not provide medical, psychological, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All Rights Reserved. Don't Like Your Personality? Here's How You Can Change It This can often be perceived as pretty disrespectful and even hurtful. There are lots of reasons why you might believe that nobody likes you: Maybe you have a hard time connecting with other people or making friends. One of the best ways to become less selfish and change your personality for the better is to begin by increasing your observation skills. When others lie to you or try to use you for their purposes, you will not tolerate their behaviors. All rights reserved. Sign in to save your own collection of tools and articles. Changing your beliefs the way weve been talking about can actually help you feel more connected to others. My passion is reporting on individuals, faiths, nations, and situations that impact us all on the journey of life. Being strong also equals being independent, which includes knowing who you are and feeling no need to prove anything to others. So when you are dealing with a hypocrite, you prefer to skip the pseudo-polite introduction and get to the point. my friends, my former professors, emitting beneficence from their bellies like Care Bears. This obviously isnt cool. And its a good thing. People lack discrimination and vote on their feelings rather than the facts about a canditate do they have integrity, have they demonstrated statesmanship, strength of character are they qualified? Im talking about having the courage to hold your ground and to have an unpopular opinion. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. You Dont Know What Its Like to Be Around You, How to Be Less Judgmental Toward Yourself, How to Manage Emotional Cascades in Borderline Personality, The Way You Use a Mouse Says a Lot About Your Personality, Predicting Infidelity from Precise Personality Sub-Traits, Demystifying Rape Myths: The Dark Tetrad and Masculine Norms, The Top 10 Personality Disorders: Symptoms and Signs. Then work with this information. Our messy, confusing lives do have value in them, and there is no sanitized perfect life out there that the glossy magazines would have us believe. (Without being all gossipy. When youre at a networking event and meeting lots of new people, it can be hard to keep a smile plastered on your face. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Hack Spirit. Are You a Target of Blame for a Borderline Personality? Theres no way that we can all become perfect specimens of harmony, and life will always have pain, anger and fear in some form. However, its true that people tend to underestimate the good qualities of introverts. Your friend may be in a vulnerable position and highly susceptible to influence. By continuing to use this website, you consent to the use of cookies in accordance with our Cookie Policy. Cookie Notice It can all seem like the worst problem in the world not to have a partner you love, for example, until you meet the love of your life a week later, or realize how much better off you are than your friend in an unhappy relationship. Obviously, this increased spontaneity shouldn't be absent of tact or diplomacy.
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i don't like my friends personality